Sunday at 6 & I can’t wait for tea & sandwiches at 7. Thank God for WordPress! Loving my online journal. Loving the memories of last night’s loving & then some. Moronic motherfucker was daaamn good in the sack! Baby juice for breakfast. His baby juice. Slurrrp!
I came out of my family closet going on a dozen years ago. I’m bisensual! I declared. How they laughed that day, oh how they laughed! Their laughter soon turned to horror when I demonstrated my bisensuality by snogging the nearest female, Mad Mary, who was a drooling mess.
I’m seeing someone really special! I told one of my long-suffering, long-suffered sisters. Male or female? She giggled. Canine! I retorted.
That someone really special was an old flame that had been reignited after a quarter of a century! He was 13 & I was 14 & we kissed a hell of a lot. And talked for hours everyday over the phone. I was absolutely besotted!
A quarter of a century later, he told me that his greatest regret was pocketing the condom I handed him when we were young teenagers. So we lost our virginity 25 years later. Consummated our friendship & no more as far as I was concerned. We used a condom. He is anything but Daddy material, even though he is indeed a Dad.
He later regretted using a condom, so he told me. Regretful motherfucker steeped in his regrets. Well I regret loaning him hundreds of Euro on 3 occasions. Don’t loan what you can’t afford to give away, I told myself. He was up shit creek without a paddle each time. What a lousy loser. Stay out of my life!
Matte Black Pack A Fee, as I call him, is also a lousy loser. He has relocated Stateside as he says, across the Atlantic from his young children, looking to pack more fees. Fucking sellout! His car got clamped one evening a few years ago while we were wining & dining. Matte went absolutely bananas. Not to worry! I consoled him. I’ll pay the fee to get you unclamped & it will be like it never happened. He never shut up about the fucking clampers all the way home.
His car tax & insurance were due & Matte had no means of paying. Except to hit me for a loan of a grand. Two years later, I told him he owed me 2 grand. Interest included. Matte told me to fuck off from a height, in so many words. Haven’t heard from the measly motherfucker since.
Gravity by Hooverphonic is playing on repeat in my ears. Love it! Gravity controls the way we’re falling. I was falling in love last night but I was wearing my safety belt so there was no crash when I fell out of love, this afternoon. An afternoon & evening of rolling in the hay with Lucas the loser was not to be after a hot & steamy night of unbridled lust. So long sardonic Sardinian motherfucker.
Up & out was I come Sunday night, although it began innocently enough with me tucked up in bed early following Saturday shenanigans. I was wide awake & weird, only to glad to receive a call with an invitation to go boogie on down in the Opium Rooms. I’m broke as a joke! I replied. I’ll look after you. He said. Didn’t need much persuasion…rocked out of my bed quicktime & rolled Southside feeling toasty inside on a cold cold night. Bliss was to follow.
Dancing to wicked tunes till 3am. Not a penny in my pocket but washing down the G&T’s with gusto. And an abundance of coca up my nose bestowed upon me by horny wee devils trying unsuccessfully to get into my pants.
Ruby Monday tried no such thing We hit it off instantly on the dancefloor. He already has a girlfriend but that’s really none of my concern. Says the longer we keep it a secret the funnier it will be. You wha’? He’s evidently got a sweet but sick sense of humour. Ticks that box! I do love secrets!
Ruby hails from southern Italy…what was I saying about Italians? Can’t live with ’em, can’t live without ’em! Dead excited by him & about him. His smile on the dancefloor really got me, he never stopped! And his moves. You’re a great dancer! I yelled at him. You’re a great dancer! He yelled back. Awww! Flattery may get ya anywhere! So he got a room anywhere & we rolled in at 4am for shitless shenanigans.
It was a knockout, as always! After his second coming, Ruby passed out peacefully on the bed. Panned out & dead to the world, still smiling…haaa! Indeed I had broken this Italian stallion! Checked the time & it was 7.30am. Wicked. Breakfast served from 8. I was in the bistro on the dot & ate like a flying horse. Breakfast in bed for Ruby when I roused him.
He was even more aroused than he was the night before. Ah, the taste of forbidden fruit. Are you mine? He was wondering. I was. In that moment. Now that we’ve checked out & gone our separate ways until further notice I’m free as a flying horse once again.
Yeowww, that’s 2 affairs of the heart I’m having… and an interesting Indian gentleman who’s married with kids is also seeking to partake in the party in my pants! He won’t get any further than a chaste date with me. I’ll be giving him the Tinder treatment – chased but chaste – that’s for sure!
Faith In The Ripple Effect 