They’ll lock you up & throw away the key!
These words of warning were directed at me.
Some time later I received the same warning
From a Garda Sargeant early one morning.
As he shook my hand, I informed him it was shitty
It wasn’t the truth, I was merely being witty.
A night in the station I had spent
And I had made a racket, I would not relent!
Arrested on grounds of public order
Because I made a holy show like a lamb to the slaughter!
Painted red the town of Bray
Had a run in with a publican, to his dismay.
Launched a bag of chips at his head
Bullseye! His face turned shades of red.
In turn he launched me out of his lounge
And thus I departed for a beer to scrounge.
From the local lads who were knacker drinking
Show us your tits! They said what they were thinking.
I flashed my boobs & a Budweiser was won
Oh what a day, I was shining in the sun.
Overturning tables as I swigged on my beer
Law enforcement arrived but have no fear…
The craic was mighty from start to finish
It got so gross the Gardaí got squeamish!
Upon my arrest, my hands were cuffed
Fuck this, I decided, they can go get stuffed.
Locked in the back of a paddywagon
Left the locals all tongues a-waggin’.
Cuffs slid easily from my wrists
Stripped butt naked for giggles & shits!
Made like a wanker when the doors swung open
Just pretending, my actions were a token.
A token of my appreciation
For the free ride all the way to the station!
Faith In The Ripple Effect 